f e a r l e s s

fears...
i've struggled with fear for as i can remember. normal fears like heights, and swimming in waters with fish and "various creatures," spiders and reptiles of all kinds. I struggle with irrational fears like suffocating alone in the bathroom and being found randomly by a family member, or falling to my death from some great height.
     rejection...
     being alone...
     not being able to respond and assist in a crisis...
     walking away with huge regrets...
     saying the wrong thing...
     or nothing at all...
     making the wrong choice in something huge like marriage, moving or college...
     hurting someone i desperatly love...
     missing opportunities...

i find myself panicking when i start to think about my future and decisions i am going to be faced with. what if i make the wrong choice and it literally ruins my life. 

but i've slowly come to realize over the past month, as i've really been thinking about it, that my fears do not define who I am as a person, nor do they confine me. I can move past them and work through them. i'm reminded of a quote i read recently, somewhere, (honestly probably on pinterest,) that said something to the effect of "impossible is just an excuse to not even try." my fears are a sort of protective bubble that I have allowed to surround myself, they've become an excuse to escape a situation i'm not comfortable with.

     So even though the idea of job interviews and having to talk to strangers scares me and the idea of courting/dating and marriage terrifies me and makes me absolutely freak out sometimes, I can work through my fears one bit at a time, and perhaps, slowly i will gain confidence and things that scare me into a panic won't bother me at all.

this is my goal, the "object" that i will be perusing this year, if you will allow the muddle expression. i'm eighteen, and ready to start living fully, without constantly shrinking down inside because i'm afraid. 

f e a r l e s s :

courageous; resolute in the face of danger or challenges.

synonyms: bold, brave, courageous, valiant, gallant, plucky, lionhearted, heroic, daring

{I am not, however, planning to work on my fear of insects or reptiles. i consider the fear of these to be extremely healthy fears, helpful in keeping one's distance from creatures that should be avoided at all costs...}

"the Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall i fear. the Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall i dread." Ps. 27:1

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you for i am your God. I will help you, surely i will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Is 41:10

"Say to those with anxious heart, Take courage, fear not."

Is 35;4

"Because you are with me, I will NOT fear."

Ps. 118:6

"the biggest prison people live in is the fear of what others may think." - Unknown