Tuesday, May 6, 2014

thirty-nine days


  it's been thirty-nine days since the move. thirty-nine days since I heard my horse nicker a greeting as I stepped outside on the porch in the morning; since I walked barefoot to the mailbox, and ran all the way back; since I grabbed a white mocha at Cornerstone; thirty-nine days since I stopped by the library on my way home from the grocery store really quick to pick up a stack of books to burn through. 
          here's the thing: i expected moving to be hard. i expected the loneliness of living in a completely new city, with a completely different pace, habits and schedules,  and not having normal people and places around. I expected the sadness (missing people, my beautiful mountain, mentors and especially the sweetest, gentlest horse in the entire world, whom we had to put down due to health issues.). I expected it all. And it hit me between the eyes, full force. there are days when the only thing I want to do is curl up and cry. (I don't, because crying is weird. ;)  
          but the thing i didn't expect was that I know it'll be fine. i'll adjust, i'll find people to hang out with, people to love. i'll find a job, and someday in the future i'll have a busy schedule. someday i'll fit in here. i also realized that probably i won't ever live in Goldendale again. it feels weird to say it, but there aren't opportunities there for many young people. there aren't jobs, schools, or any way of a future. (unless you're a farmer... which i'm not presently.) i probably wouldn't have said it when living there, because it's the city that has my heart. but i realize that my dream of becoming an EMT/Paramedic most likely couldn't have ever been fulfilled there. 

           so i guess what i'm saying is, that i miss Goldendale, and I miss my life there, my friends, Mt. Adams, (because let's face it. I am. in. love. with. that. mountain.), but I can see how this move could turn out to be a good thing.

but. enough about me. what's new with you. (I really want to know. comment and tell me what your life has been like, and the new experiences you've had this year.)


  1. Moving is hard, but I like your positive outlook. There's always something good about moving -- and sometimes it's not as hard as we think it is. (I'm only saying all this because I've moved a lot. a whole lot.)

    I guess my days have been a bit busy. :) in a good way. I'm working as a barista at the local coffeehouse (so. much. fun.) and in nursing classes. But I want to make image capturing more of my thing, ya know? anyways. life is a jumbled mess sometimes, but you're right, it's gonna be ok and God is so, so good.

    1. thanks for taking the time to comment, Kendra! This move has been so hard, but I've finally learned to accept it.

      Ohh, your job sounds super fun!! I've always thought working as a barista would be SUPER cool. (I'm a little obsessed with coffee, and would love the opportunity to learn how to do more with it. :)

      So, from looking at your blog a bit, it sounds like nursing isn't really your "thing." I totally understand! One of my closest friends from growing up always thought she wanted to be a nurse, until she started classes a couple years ago, and she discovered it just wasn't for her. :) Dealing with people all the time, (not to mention the things nurses do. ;) can be exhausting!

  2. I'm so sorry about your horse. And really everything... moving is so very hard, but I know losing my horses (whenever that happens...why oh WHY can't they outlive humans...) will be one of the hardest things I go through. Keep writing about it. I find it to be therapeutic, myself. :)

  3. hey there,
    thank you for your sweet comment on my blog! it made me smile. :) and i'm just catching bits and pieces here, but i know how hard moving is. i moved from Ohio to Arizona (talk about MAJOR culture shock) when i was 3. i was young, but i still remember how i felt. it's hard - but moving on from anything is hard. praying for you, as you're adjusting to the changes God is bringing into your life. they're hard to accept sometimes, but He knows what is best for us. :)

    xx, Mikailah

  4. I'm so happy you're finding new things to think about in Vancouver! It must have been in God's plan for you and your family :) But if you can cry, it will be very healing for you, my dear. I hope you find some new people and new events there to be involved in! Miss you :)



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