my life is being turned completely upside down right now. i haven't been able to write in weeks. my emotions and thoughts are all tumbling around, and i can't seem to sort anything out, and write it down on paper in a logical, systematic way. i've tried to journal several times, to figure some stuff out, but all i can find are ghosts of the words and thoughts.
my family is moving in about two weeks, and i really, really don't want to. i love my hometown, i love the people here. i live in a tiny farming town, where everyone knows everyone else, and even if you don't know somebody, you just might stand in the grocery store and have a ten minute conversation, because everybody is friendly. people wave and smile all time, and it's pretty much impossible to run errands without running into several friends along the way. the lady at the movie rental store can tell you whether you parents will approve of that movie or not, because she's spent the time to figure out what our standards are. you can run to the neighbors to borrow a teaspoon of baking powder, because you are making muffins and forgot to check to see if we still had some. and when your car battery is dead there is always someone more than willing to come by and jump it, even if you barely know them.
we're moving to the portland/vancouver area... it's so much different from the small town life. going to the grocery store and back isn't a twenty minute experience. Friends don't live five minutes away. it's just a whole different life. we've lived in this house for thirteen years. i just don't want to change. i love here, this house, my friends, my mountain.
i guess i'm whining a little, sorting out the thoughts that have been floating around in my mind for weeks.