courage, dear heart

Currently, I am snuggled up in my room watching the second half of Sense and Sensibility, (for probably the 20+ time. ;) in my favoritest pajamas, (complete with atrociously mismatched socks. ;) while my family is all off exploring the library. I made a huge, delicious London Fog, (adding a spoonful of vanilla ice cream was a brilliant idea.) and am working on a thousand things at once while the house is quiet. :) 

Today was good. I felt so happy and light, much like the calm after a storm. Yesterday was so hard; mostly battles with myself. In the afternoon I was able go for a walk, and spend time praying and surrendering my fears and desires to God, and I came home feeling somewhat peaceful. Then, last night I was emailing a friend and had one of my pandora stations playing, and “Jesus, King of Angels by Fernando Ortega played and I felt like my soul took a deep breath. It was almost like a lullaby, a sweet reminder from my Savoir. Jesus, King of Angels, heaven’s light, Hold my hand and keep me through this night. For this fearful, anxious girl who stresses about everything, who deals with infrequent yet terrible nightmares, and who panics frequently, it was a beautiful, acute reminder. Remind me how You made dark spirits flee, And spoke Your power to the raging sea.

 

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“Peace I leave with you, My peace i give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” John 14:27

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Sense and Sensibility just ended and my heart melted, again. I've come here with no expectations, only to profess, now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is, and always will be, yours." I've never been able to decide whether I love Edward or Colonel Brandon more... 

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Jesus is always, always, always, always faithful. Even when confusion reigns, and doubts cloud in. When the world is bright and cheerful, or when everything seems wrong, when nothing makes sense, when plans fall through. Throughout it all Jesus remains faithful.

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The Ice cream in the freezer downstairs has been on my brain all evening. I think I'm finally going to go cave in. And you know what else? There's only one serving left, so I might just pour chocolate sauce right into the carton and eat it out of that. It always feel so satisfying to just eat it out of the carton, doesn't it? or am I the only weirdo that does that?? :)

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xx,