thirty-nine days

       

  it's been thirty-nine days since the move. thirty-nine days since I heard my horse nicker a greeting as I stepped outside on the porch in the morning; since I walked barefoot to the mailbox, and ran all the way back; since I grabbed a white mocha at Cornerstone; thirty-nine days since I stopped by the library on my way home from the grocery store really quick to pick up a stack of books to burn through. 

          here's the thing: i expected moving to be hard. i expected the loneliness of living in a completely new city, with a completely different pace, habits and schedules,  and not having normal people and places around. I expected the sadness (missing people, my beautiful mountain, mentors and especially the sweetest, gentlest horse in the entire world, whom we had to put down due to health issues.). I expected it all. And it hit me between the eyes, full force. there are days when the only thing I want to do is curl up and cry. (I don't, because crying is weird. ;)  

          but the thing i didn't expect was that I know it'll be fine. i'll adjust, i'll find people to hang out with, people to love. i'll find a job, and someday in the future i'll have a busy schedule. someday i'll fit in here. i also realized that probably i won't ever live in Goldendale again. it feels weird to say it, but there aren't opportunities there for many young people. there aren't jobs, schools, or any way of a future. (unless you're a farmer... which i'm not presently.) i probably wouldn't have said it when living there, because it's the city that has my heart. but i realize that my dream of becoming an EMT/Paramedic most likely couldn't have ever been fulfilled there. 

           so i guess what i'm saying is, that i miss Goldendale, and I miss my life there, my friends, Mt. Adams, (because let's face it. I am. in. love. with. that. mountain.), but I can see how this move could turn out to be a good thing.

but. enough about me. what's new with you. (I really want to know. comment and tell me what your life has been like, and the new experiences you've had this year.)

xx,