Friday, December 9, 2011

preperations for skiing


This was an email I was sent a couple days ago, and I laughed so much!! I ski, or attempt to, and I guess some of these things would be ‘helpful’ *laughs*

Anyway, enjoy…

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Well, as we're all waiting for the snow to come and stick, here's some tips on how to prepare for that grand day!

1. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.

2. Attach a lift ticket to your coat, and ride a motorcycle fast enough to cause facial lacerations.

3. If you wear glasses, start wearing them with glue smeared all over the lenses.

4. Secure one leg to your bedpost and ask a friend to run into you at a high speed.

5. Put on all the clothes you can, and then proceed to undress because you have to use the rest room.

6. Buy a new pair of gloves, and immediately throw one away.

7. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.

8. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, pack crushed ice around your foot, and secure your toes in a vice.

9. Throw away a $100 bill NOW.

10. Go to McDonald's, and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Make sure you stand in the longest line.

11. Get in your car, and drive slowly, anywhere, as long as it's in a blizzard, and you are following an 18 wheeler.

12. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.

13. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.

14. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.

15. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the real thing.

1 comment:

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